She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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