Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Randomize