My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
