went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
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