is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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