you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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