After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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