When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
