I'm so fucking centered right now
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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