About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
