he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
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