I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
