she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
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