tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
