You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Randomize
