if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
Well apparently he's into motor boating.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I think my moral compass just broke
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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