I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
You can't motorboat a personality
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
