3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
