so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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