He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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