lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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