It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
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