does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
