Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
a search helicopter?!
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
