oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
