I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
