I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
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