Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
