I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
