I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
