Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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