So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Randomize
