do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
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