We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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