problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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