i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
