how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize