On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Randomize
