I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
How does it feel to date your dad?
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
