If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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