Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
