so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
