i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Randomize
