dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
