Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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