Christians are straight up FREAKS
i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Randomize
