you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
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