he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
