I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Randomize
