If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
