I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
