I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Randomize
