We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Randomize