i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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