Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
