I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Randomize
