I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize