Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
