So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
