BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
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