Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
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