The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
