Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Randomize
